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The Kitten Foundation
Stella de Orre

Hi and welcome.

I'm Stella de Orre, the current Chair of the Board of The Kitten Foundation. I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about who we are and what we do.

History

The Kitten Foundation was founded by my wonderful grandfather Miguel Pedro Alfonso de Orre. After arriving in Australia as a poor immigrant from Chile in 1946, he quickly became fabulously wealthy by taking and selling photographs of young ladies in artistic poses. Then, at the age of 43 he married one of his young models, 19 year-old Angelica, and together they created our great de Orre patriarchy. Everyone was very happy and healthy and before long there were lots of little de Orres running around everywhere. Naturally, both the business and the patriarchy flourished.

But then as the years went by, Grandpa became very concerned and unhappy with what he saw as being the degradation of womanhood when the epidemic of second-wave feminism swept through the nation destroying strong patriarchies and traditional families, and most importantly for him, femininity and sexism. So he and his gorgeous wife, Angelica, began to take in stray and wayward young girls infected with feminism into his studio and educate them into the ways of becoming fine and proper, feminine and obedient young ladies - and photo-art models. He called them "his kittens" because of their cute, playful and frisky natures.

Pretty soon, his studio began to fill up with Kittens - Grandpa had such a kind nature. He would photograph them and teach them to become beautiful and expressive models. They in turn became grateful and affectionate to him. But Grandma Angelica started to get a bit annoyed, because she thought there were just too many young and beautiful scantily clad women hanging around the studio expressing their gratitude and affection to Grandpa. In fact there was so much expressing of gratitude and affection going on back then, that he didn't get a lot of time to do much photography anymore. Something had to be done.

So in 1973 an old building was found and purchased, and turned into a studio, school and refuge for unfortunate girls suffering from feminism and so The Kitten Institute was formed. To fund the Institute a body corporate was established - The Kitten Foundation - which is still running today and is what I'm now here being the Chair of the Board of, carrying on what my wonderful Grandfather, Miguel Pedro Alfonso, began all those years ago.

The Kitten Institute

The Kitten Institute today is a far cry from those early days and has now developed a world-wide reputation for producing the finest and most beautiful, man-friendly women. Now, most of our girls are full fee paying students seeking dedicated modern careers as wives and mothers, but we do continue to pursue our philanthropic role, admitting many wayward girls every year on scholarships where we believe they have the demonstrated above average prettiness and sex appeal that men like, preparing and re-educating them for lifelong submission and servitude to men.

The Kitten Institute's current graduate courses are available to young women, 16 to 25, preference being given to school leavers, who may choose to complete either a Kitten of Arts or a Kitten of Science degree. These courses differ in their electives, but both contain the same essential core Kitten modules ensuring a high quality of standardisation of our world famous Kitten product -

• Domestic Art and Science - the basic arts and sciences of running an economical, clean, tidy, organised, healthy and efficient household. Cooking, cleaning, washing, sewing, nursing, gardening, gathering and the like - woman's work.

• Social Grace and Etiquette - the discipline of compliance with the mores and morality of traditional patriarchy, including entertaining for private, business and social functions, political correctness whilst in the presence of one's master's casual or more permanent mistresses, coping with PMT discreetly, the preparation for one's own dignified redundancy and ultimate replacement following menopause and the etiquette of welcoming and serving the master's new young wife.

• Men's Studies - the study of the needs of men and how to satisfy them. In-depth knowledge and skills required of women to attend to the physical, safety, social, egoistic, self-fulfilment and above all else, the sexual needs of one's master.

• Motherhood - the science of conceiving, bearing and nurturing of one's master's children.

• Spirituality - the duty of worship, reverence and complete subjugation to one's master, his needs and his desires.

• Personal Hygiene - health and beauty studies to ensure attractiveness, firmness, fitness, performance and durability required to competently accomplish one's master's commands and satisfy his needs.

Furthermore, the Institute also offers post graduate courses in areas of specialisation in disciplines that a woman's master might require her to study such as drama, music, singing, or dancing for his entertainment, or in sciences such as advanced cookery, massage or home economics. We also conduct weekend workshops for refresher training in all areas of Kitten disciplines.

Needless to say, we have a wonderful success rate in graduations and all our graduates have all since married into sound, wealthy and reputable patriarchies, are still dutifully serving their masters, have provided them with many children and have remained faithful to them. And of course, most importantly, have remained true to their graduating pledge, the Kitten Kode -

"I pledge,
As a graduate of The Kitten Institute,
To honour my calling as a woman,
To serve my master dutifully.
To be fruitful and bear him children ,
To comply obediently with his commands,
And to subjugate myself completely,
To his every need, wish, pleasure and desire."

Proud Kittens take their pledge on graduation day  

Kitten Kamps

Kitten Institute surveys reveal that there is currently an epidemic of domestic violence sweeping the western world and overwhelmingly it is women who are the perpetrators. In fact between 85 to 95 percent of family violence and child abuse is all perpetrated by women and more than 1 in 4 men will become innocent victims of women's domestic violence at least once in their lifetime.

Also, presently, up to 50% of patriarchies are being broken apart, along with the lives of their children, by women, who selfishly initiate divorce in over 80% of all cases.

In light of these shocking research findings, The Kitten Foundation has become active in helping to overcome this pandemic through both advocacy, to bring about social awareness, and by lobbying for legislative change to introduce progressive reforms such as the forced removal of violent and aggressive women from the home for the protection of men and their children.

To achieve this goal, we have created and established a new scheme of emergency rehabilitation and re-education for violent women. These progressive programs are run in newly created facilities we call Kitten Kamps.

Under this new scheme - which we hope will become law - we offer to men with ungrateful, feminist, obese or recalcitrant wives a service where they can call us up, should they experience family abuse, or even FEEL that they, or their authority, are in any way being threatened by a potentially violent woman and we'll issue an Agreed Violence Order (AVO) over the phone and then come around and remove her. No evidence of actual violence is necessary, we'll simply believe any man's word and "agree". That's why it's called an Agreed Violence Order.

More like a holiday retreat than a correctional institution

We like to think of our Kitten Kamps as sort of holiday "retreats" offering caring and sympathetic help to wayward women, but not all perpetrators see it that way. Some women faced with the disgrace of their own actions do come along to Kitten Kamp quietly, but many others require a little "coaxing" before "volunteering" to get into the van peacefully and sign up for their own rehabilitation. Either way, the important thing is that the threat to the patriarchy is removed immediately and peace and safety are restored to good men and their children so they can get on with their lives.

Once settled into their new environment, the women spend their time doing endless creative housework and other "progressive" activities that we've devised to bring about their speedy recovery and cure. Obedience and self discipline are key elements in establishing their sense of place in the world and to this end, they work under strict supervision, being carefully monitored, constantly chastised, humiliated and demeaned for any and all imperfection until their resistance to re-education is finally broken down and they begin to accept themselves as the naturally inferior women that they really are.

At this stage of their recovery, the women undergo remedial psychology courses such as Anger Management, The Dangers Of Penis Envy, The Horrors Of Feminism, Living Without Denial, Facing Up To Reality and I'm Not Really A Princess.

They are also introduced to new concepts such as accountability, responsibility and consequences where they are trained in much the same way as dogs, receiving rewards or punishment for their correct and incorrect behaviours from personal Kitten Trainers. Here they learn about the wonders and joys of patriarchy and the need for compliance with the five virtues of Kittenhood - femininity, reticence, submission, obedience, and duty.

The Kitten Foundation believes that it is imperative to restore an errant woman's natural sense of herself as quickly as possible for the good of the patriarchy and by any means available to us, but we realise that some might see our methods and techniques as being harsh or brutal. To these critics we would like to point out that given the severity of these women's cases and the harm and damage they do to society, to their masters and his children, no treatment should be overlooked in bringing about an expedient and effective cure. We like to remind ourselves too, that sometimes one must be cruel to be kind and the kindest thing that can be done for these poor unfortunate women is to get their heads straightened out and put back to work in their rightful places as soon as possible. Exactly how this is achieved is of minor importance. Besides, with some of these women, even whipping is too good for them, so we don't do it - we use other more interesting methods.

And of course, naturally, don't forget, all of this is always carried out "in the best interests of the child".

The Future

As you can see, we have an enormous amount of work to do to realise my Grandfather's dream and vision of a beautiful world full of happy harmonious patriarchies and happy healthy kids. There is so much to do and so many issues to address.

At this time, we are only at the beginning, yet there are optimistic signs already that the western world is moving forward progressively, leaving behind regressive ideologies like feminism and Marxism back in the 20th Century where they created division between the sexes and set man against man in their screwed up thinking, destroying the sanctity of patriarchy and threatening the very safety of the world.

Now with the new century just in its infancy, we can look forward to realising a brighter future for all, a strengthening of the bonds between the sexes, respect for each other through understanding of our true roles in life and the security of stable families, nations and communities. Together with The Kitten Foundation, we can all relax a bit, have a laugh at ourselves and get on with the fight for fun, happiness and justice - not just for an elite few, but for everybody.

And oh yeah, donations to The Kitten Foundation are not tax deductible but are very gratefully received. In fact, we can arrange to have one of our high-class Kittens drop around to your place and in the privacy of your own home, demonstrate our gratitude and affection for just A$100 per hour or A$500 overnight. Satisfaction guaranteed, conditions apply.

Avoid disappointment, book early.

Thanks for looking in,

Stella de Orre

Chair of the Board
The Kitten Foundation

Kitten Hall of Fame